Bespoke Clerical Millinery for the Discerning Clergyman

Wednesday, 28 September 2011

But they’re both so different!

Mother Prioress: [Mother and some novices are deciding between two similar knotted girdles for an order habit. Father Andy sniggers because he thinks they look exactly the same] Something funny?

Father Andy Sachs No. No, no. Nothing's... You know, it's just that both those girdles look exactly the same to me. You know, I'm still learning about all this stuff and, uh...

Mother Prioress: 'This... stuff'? Oh. Okay. I see. You think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your vestry and you select... I don't know... that lumpy blue chasuble, for instance because you're trying to tell the world that you take your Mass too seriously to care about what vestments you put on your back. But what you don't know is that that chasuble is not just blue, it's not turquoise. It's not lapis. It's actually, cerulean. And you're also blithely unaware of the fact that in 2011, Domus Biettarum did a collection of cerulean birettas. And then I think it was Gamerelli... wasn't it who showed cerulean skull caps? I think we need a skull cap here. And then cerulean quickly showed up in the collections of eight different ecclesiastical tailors. And then it, uh, filtered down through the Via Duomo and then trickled on down into some tragic Discount Supplier where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that blue represents millions of pounds and countless jobs and it's sort of comical how you think that you've made a choice that exempts you from the ecclesiastical fashion industry when, in fact, you're wearing the chasuble that was selected for you by the people in this room; from a pile of… stuff. 

The above scene has been lovingly plagiarized for the benefit of ANYONE thinking of describing this biretta as anything to do with the ICKSP or College of Our Lady of Hanworth. It is in fact, the biretta of a Claretian priest, and our Spanish friends assure us it is most certainly cerulean.

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